Greetings Akwasi!
I was delighted to receive your birthday text after a long period of no communication, as we have both been engrossed in our day jobs and other life's pleasures. After sending me that poetic birthday message, you inquired about how I am going to celebrate my birthday. Do you suppose I should tell you that I will throw a party with friends and indulge in some chemical intoxication, or go on a cruise and savor the finest champagne, or dine at the finest restaurant with a view overlooking the ocean and be served a medium-rare filet mignon that is too fatty to contain its own juices, or any of the other trivialities and short-lived pleasures that people engage in to celebrate the occasion? Nah! I do something that could bring me long-lasting joy in the future. I dedicate some hours to myself and go to a peaceful, natural environment, preferably by the water, and ask myself this question: "If the previous year had been my last year on earth, would I have spent it the way I did?" And if the answer is "no," then intense planning and strategizing commence and continue until I have a solid plan that I believe will help me answer "yes" to that question in the near future. "Shouldn't you celebrate living a whole year without any fatal incidents?" you might ask. That is true only if you consider spending half of the year at your day job and splitting the other half between sleeping and attending to other life duties as true living. My dear friend Akwasi, do we even know how to live? True living is doing what brings you happiness for the majority of your time. Did I say "happiness"? Nah, I meant to say, "true joy". Consider a man who lived to be 80 years old and worked two jobs that he loathed his entire life, only to die a couple of months after he retired. Compare this to a man who had made enough money to retire at age 30 and spent the rest of his life doing all the things that brought him true joy until his untimely death at age 50. Which of these two men truly lived? The one who died at 50 is the one who truly lived. The other man merely existed for 80 years. So, my dear friend, I only existed last year as well, since I answered "no" to that birthday question.
Am I recommending early retirement? Yes, my friend, unless you would still be willing to go to your day job in your last year on Earth, not for the sake of money but because it brings you genuine joy. There are some who will still feel as though early retirement is beyond their wildest dreams. In that case, try to organize your time so that you occasionally get to do what brings you joy as much as possible in your present situation. Finding what brings you true joy is a topic for another conversation, but it's the most important first step, Akwasi. "What will you gain by doing all this?" you might wonder. Do this so that at the end of your life, whether it comes as a sudden illness while you are still young or as a decrepit old man in hospice care, you can look back and say to yourself, "I have lived!" So that when you are on your deathbed, you will not beg the physicians to help you live a couple of weeks more. Above all, so that you can live life more abundantly.
Do you think these goals I have laid down are impossible to achieve? Many people, like everyone else who has only 24 hours in a day, have achieved these goals. If it is possible for these people, then you can do it too, my dear friend. To achieve this, "time-management" is the sole important factor to focus on. Nature has given us plenty of time to achieve the great joys of life if it is not wasted. Just as careless mega-million lottery winners are known to swiftly lose all their money, so does our time vanish when not guarded.
"But!" you might retort with the question: "How do we waste time if everything we do daily is part of life?" Here is the rule for that decision: any time we spend on activities that do not directly or indirectly bring us closer to achieving our goals of living a life full of joy can be considered a waste of time. One man's time is tied up in working overtime to purchase the latest shiny car to impress people he doesn't even respect, though he knows that money could be invested in real estate that could help him retire early and do all the traveling he loves. So, my dear friend Akwasi, when you see some men posting about their luxurious parties, cars, and mansions on Instagram, don't be envious. Those showy things were bought at the price of sacrificing quality time with family, just to impress people they don't really care for. Another one binge-watches a series on Netflix all weekend, only to complain that she has no extra time to start a side hustle. We freely give away hours of our time daily in useless phone conversations and wrangling in other people's affairs. Then, there are those who go to work only to waste their time complaining about being bored, even though there are salary-boosting skills they could learn during downtime at work. We struggle to sleep at night because of past grudges, sad events, and anxiety about the future, although most of these negative events no longer exist in our present lives. We, therefore, wake up tired and inefficient for the rest of the day. A man might claim that spending time with his children and family brings him joy, but he is always on his phone whenever he hangs out with them and thus ends up losing those moments by being distracted. Some people spend a good chunk of their time running errands for other people just for people's approval and likes, not from the joy of helping people. We all agree that looking presentable is essential and even ethical, but some people waste countless hours on looking good and would rather have their hairline and style well-ordered than their lives. "Are we not supposed to have leisure and relax? We can't be seriously working all the time. We must have leisure!" you might argue. It is true, but some people have become slaves to their leisure instead of relaxing and recharging from it. The worst kind of time loss is that spent oversleeping. Akwasi, some people even list sleeping as their source of happiness, and these same people will do everything within their power to stay alive when threatened with fatal illness. They try hard to stay alive just so that they can sleep more? What about those who are bedridden all weekend due to a hangover from Friday night's debauchery? Think about those who actually attempt to use their time wisely by picking up a side hustle, learning new skills, or going to the gym during their spare time. But then they are mentally so distracted by worrying about things beyond their control, constantly checking their cell phones, other responsibilities creeping into their thoughts, vengeance they feel they must mete out to their past offenders, possible future troubles that might not even happen and every other possible distraction except doing the task right in front of them. And so, they end up spending hours and days trying to improve themselves but only gaining a few minutes of improvement from their efforts.
No one will doubt that some of our time will slip away from us, no matter how hard we try to contain it. Like the time we lose as a result of our childishness and naivety, those times that are filched away by liars and manipulators, time spent in traffic, those we give freely to strangers, and losses due to our inability to focus are all inevitable ways of losing time. These are mostly beyond our control. It's always more time-efficient to focus on things within our control, my friend.
If you would approve, allow me to offer some suggestions by which you may safeguard some of your time. This may sound morbid, but bear with me. Frequently keep your mortality in view, my dear friend. We have already spent half of our lives, and that is even if we are fortunate enough to grow old. Instead of fearing death, let us use this inevitable part of life to motivate us to use our time wisely and efficiently. Always remember this fact of life, my dear friend. As to the time we lose due to our inefficient ventures, practice doing fewer tasks efficiently each day instead of packing too many tasks into a day. Devote your mornings to the more challenging tasks. I have personally found practicing meditation each morning very helpful for my mental focus. Always split every task, goal or issue into two categories: the part within your control and the part beyond your control. Focus all your mental energy and time on the part within your control and try hard not to waste too much of your time on the part beyond your control. I have also found planning my week ahead and making to-do lists for the week using an app to be helpful for my mental focus and efficiency. Another time-saving hack that has benefited me greatly is reading self-help books by authors of the baby boomer generation and older or popular ancient books. Let us look more closely into this matter. You will indirectly add the years of these authors to your age, as these books usually contain the wisdom they have gathered over their lifetimes. Ask yourself: "If a child knew the same things as adults in all matters, would that child still be considered a child?" Do me a favor, my friend: the next time you find yourself stuck in that Chicago traffic, play a self-help audiobook from one of these old authors or ancient popular books instead of humming along to music. Weigh carefully the value of anything by how much time it eventually saves you, for the more time you have that is your own, the more freedom you have.
I must forewarn you that you will upset a certain class of people simply by guarding your time. Picture to yourself the look on your lover's face when you have to end quality time to go and learn new skills, or the friend with whom you have to shorten the length of gossip over the phone, or having to turn down some hangout invitations in order to work on some passive income projects. Reflect on why these people are perfectly okay with you not giving them your money when they ask for it but get upset when you don't give them your time. The reason is that they assume time costs nothing! Let us always remember that any time spent is already gone for good, but money and other possessions are replaceable.
Akwasi, even though I write you these words, I cannot say I never waste time. However, I always try to do better in future situations after reflecting on my losses. Anyway, I will end this letter here before you hate this long letter more than losing your time. Let us be more parsimonious with our time than with our material possessions.
Take Care!